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Fever Dream

by Grumpster

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1.
It feels like there’s poison in my bones and blood A darkness floods my head sometimes I’m paralyzed from things unseen From deep inside of me I feel so weak and anxious Every time I wake up I can’t get through a single day Without some kind of made up fantasy Why do I feel its all my fault I was built too strong to fall apart A stray cat stuck in the rain I tried to get an early start But now I have this heavy heart It weighs me down every day Fever dream you’re really helping to Ease the pains when the world starts melting Try, try, try just to forget everything Disassociate and fade away I can’t focus on anything Delusional, what a pleasant sting A space cadet some would say I crashed head first into the street Broken bones and bloody teeth Now I can’t get back on my feet (Can’t get back on my feet) Fever dream you’re really helping to Ease the pains when the world starts melting Try, try, try just to forget everything I try, try, try just to forget everything And fade away
2.
Crash 03:29
Today I almost crashed my car for fun I’m at my limits cause I don’t have anyone I question myself losing sanity every day It just gets darker I don’t know if I’ll be okay It’s dark inside Every time I close my eyes I dream of flying away Today I closed my eyes and hit the gas White knuckled on the wheel Speeding towards the overpass Sweating through my clothes While my heart pounds in my ears No turning back now Hope nobody interferes It’s dark inside Every time I close my eyes I dream of flying away Away Away Away
3.
I’m stuck between the cracks again I feel like I can’t breathe Silence is eating me alive I think this might be misery Misery Don’t feel it, keep your head up strong Stone cold like nothing’s ever wrong No tears, no fear, no medicine Just try to not feel anything Anything It’s been so many years since I have felt better than dead I used to dance and sing all day now I just stay in bed Misery Misery Misery Misery It’s been so many years since I have felt better than dead (Better than dead) I used to dance and sing all day now I just stay in bed (Stay in bed) It’s been so many years since I have felt better than dead (Better than dead) I used to dance and sing all day now I just stay in bed (Stay in bed)
4.
Picture 02:25
I heard you leaving in the middle of the night Your footsteps pounding pavement What are you running from this time This night is so cold, sends shivers down my spine Your warmth no longer soothing Nothing to ease this aching mind Why don’t you take my picture That way you can always rip it up We spent our years with broken hearts Looks like you’ve finally had enough Why don’t you take my picture That way you can always rip it up We spent our years with broken hearts Looks like you’ve finally had enough So say your goodbyes to this god forsaken place All joy has died away here Nothing but hate to take its place Your spirits broken And your heart has shriveled up Your mind is somewhere else now Why don’t you take my picture That way you can always rip it up We spent our years with broken hearts Looks like you’ve finally had enough Why don’t you take my picture That way you can always rip it up We spent our years with broken hearts Looks like you’ve finally had enough
5.
Vicious 02:04
The buttons on my shirt Get so tight and it might hurt for a while The terrors in my head Any second out of bed, try tomorrow Try again tomorrow It seems like nothing's left of me I’m not who I used to be, in denial In denial It feels like I have lost control of Everything worth fighting for, it's a cycle Vicious cycle The buttons on my shirt Get so tight and it might hurt for a while The terrors in my head any second out of bed It’s a cycle Vicious cycle Vicious cycle
6.
Looking Good 02:30
Don’t leave me in the cold Just let me come inside I’ll set a fire while you’re sleeping cause You’ve got nowhere to hide You cut me oh so deep And it is not healing You bent me so far backwards that I cannot feel a thing I tried so hard to keep my cool But the tension was too much Any second now I could blow this up It’s not looking good for us I tried so hard to keep my cool But the tension was too much Any second now I could blow this up How do you sleep at night Knowing just what you’ve done Your body count is climbing while You’re killing just for fun I saw right through you from the Second that we met I barely made it out alive Your hands were dripping red I tried so hard to keep my cool But the tension was too much Any second now I could blow this up It’s not looking good for us I tried so hard to keep my cool But the tension was too much Any second now I could blow this up I could blow this up
7.
These days I feel beat up and broken As if my bones have been crushed up Every day I think about nothing but bad, bad thoughts They get me so worked up I always had my head in the clouds What do you do when they blow away Everything looks so bleak and distant There’s nothing I can do Nowhere to run away Enjoy it while it lasts Those days in love, can’t get them back I try so hard to just keep moving on But all my passions are all gone Enjoy it while it lasts Those days in love, can’t get them back I try so hard to just keep moving on But all my passions are all gone What’s missing? What was taken away? Tragedy strikes every single day Out of touch and losing faith That someday soon we’ll be okay I’m losing Sight of beauty in life Good for nothing, barely alive Seeing red and out of control I’m not sure how much further I can go Enjoy it while it lasts Those days in love, can’t get them back I try so hard to just keep moving on But all my passions are all gone Enjoy it while it lasts Those days in love, can’t get them back I try so hard to just keep moving on But all my passions are all gone Enjoy it while it lasts Those days in love, can’t get them back I try so hard to just keep moving on But all my passions are all gone Enjoy it while it lasts Those days in love, can’t get them back I try so hard to just keep moving on But all my passions are all gone
8.
Mirrors 02:41
The mirrors, they lie I’m wasting all my time Trying to convince myself I’ll get used to the sight I feel stuck in this skin I’m so fucking sick of it Cut me up, set me free Maybe then I can start to breathe
9.
You’re not as great as I thought you were old friend Stuck up and smug in your ways I can’t believe that I thought we were good friends Wish I could forget those days You didn’t change my life You just made the dark days bearable But you are oh so terrible I’ve learned You didn’t change my life You just gave me some direction Now I’m stuck in a depression Cause of you I spend so much of my time distraught thinking Of what you might think of me None of that shit even matters now because You’ve shown how cold you can be but You didn’t change my life You just made the dark days bearable But you are oh so terrible I’ve learned You didn’t change my life You just gave me some direction Now I’m stuck in a depression Cause of you You didn’t change my life You just made the dark days bearable But you are oh so terrible You didn’t change my life You just gave me some direction Now I’m stuck in a depression cause of You didn't change my life You just made the dark days bearable But you are oh so terrible I've learned (You just made the dark days bearable but you are oh so terrible) I have learned (You just made the dark days bearable)
10.
Spiders 02:30
Talking in circles I am thinking them too Dark thoughts occupying my mind I can’t tell what’s true Put me in a body bag and wheel me away Anxieties and disillusion Constant dismay I feel so small and insignificant Like there’s no place in this world where I fit in I’m so tired of carrying the fear That these feelings will not disappear Can you tell me that I won’t feel like this for eternity I’m tired of feeling inside out It’s killing me without a doubt Can you tell me that I won’t feel like this for eternity I’m so tired of feeling inside out It’s killing me without a doubt

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released June 17, 2022

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Grumpster Oakland, California

Donnie Walsh

Lalo Gonzalez Deetz

Noel Agtane

Alex Hernandez

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