Underwhelmed

by Grumpster

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1.
Underwhelmed 04:44
I have nothing left to give you my friend Cause you’ve bled me dry over and over again Don’t even try cause we’re all gonna die someday If I was a bird, you would harvest all my feathers And if I had a friend you wouldn’t let us see each other Take what you want, and take what you need from me The city took my house and it’s people took my things My neighbors took my books and all my shiny rings But then you came along just to finish me off I’m gonna scream In the cold of the winter you would peel off all my clothes And in the heat of the summer, poke a hole in my hose You’ve bent me till I cracked, you’re a pain in the ass You’ve ruined me If I was a fish, you would take me out of water And if I was a pig, I’d be the target of your slaughter I’m shit out of luck cause you don’t give a fuck about me Anytime I hear that you’re around, my entire world comes crashing down Cause I can’t forget what you’ve done to me Anytime I hear you speak my name, I feel like I have gone insane What could you want, what do you want from me? People see me as a pessimist and a grouch But I just think that I am underwhelmed I used to be as bright as the sun but now I’m just a dark storm cloud And it’s all because I’m feeling underwhelmed Underwhelmed Underwhelmed Underwhelmed I found an old note that I wrote for you that Described a big heart full of love I had For you, for life, too bad it’s been sucked dry Nobody ever apologizes Until you’ve drank yourself to death I guess Your friends all care once you’re six feet underground You’ve taken everything from me that I loved, that made me who I am You’ve broken me far worse than a hollow glass thrown upon the ground It’s been years since I let you turn the gears inside my head You ask for forgiveness but now I’m not gonna Now I’m not gonna Now I’m not gonna Now I’m not gonna Now I’m not gonna forget
2.
Party's Over 02:40
Fake it loud till you make it proud Claim your prize as you hide behind a plastic grin Talk your talk and walk your walk On two legs that weren’t yours to begin with Shaking hands and taking names of new friends to whom you’ll Attach yourself like glue Must be nice to have things working out Till the world comes crashing down on you There will be a day where you run away from all the chaos you entail Voice in your head are screaming Party’s over Maybe had you stepped down off your high horse we could be friends to this day But I’m not cool enough to get you clout You’re ungrateful, you’re oh so pitiful You said that you hoped I got what I deserved Unforgivable, so despicable I can’t believe that you would have the nerve To give me affection and Offer protection and You turned your back on me and left me Alone in the dark There will be a day where you run away from all the chaos you entail Voice in your head are screaming Party’s over Maybe had you stepped down off your high horse we could be friends to this day But I’m not cool enough to get you clout And it seems as though you’ve got it all figured out There will be a day where you run away from all the chaos you entail Voice in your head are screaming Party’s over Maybe had you stepped down off your high horse we could be friends to this day But I’m not cool enough to get you clout And it seems as though you’ve got it all figured out
3.
Lust 02:31
In a crowded dim lit room, I can’t see anyone but you My eyes are so fixated it’s mesmerizing You’re the only one I see, what could this rush of feeling be? What’s gotten into me? This is terrifying Please don’t say that you’re gonna go away (Go away) Cause I’m beaten and I’m bloody and you take my pain away Please stay, please stay with me for just one more day (One more day) Cause my goddamn glasses have been cracked And only you can guide my way Paint a picture of us walking together Cause you are all that’s on my mind I wanna get inside that pretty little head of yours To see if our thoughts are intertwined Please don’t say that you’re gonna go away (Go away) Cause I’m beaten and I’m bloody and you take my pain away Please stay, please stay with me for just one more day (One more day) Cause my goddamn glasses have been cracked And only you can guide my way You can guide my way You can guide my way Please don’t say that you’re gonna go away (Go away) Cause I’m beaten and I’m bloody and you take my pain away Please stay, please stay with me for just one more day (One more day) Cause my goddamn glasses have been cracked And only you can guide my way
4.
Crumbling 02:29
I am crumbling Faster than I ever thought I could My legs are weak, my brain is numb Oh what will I become? Poison in my blood courses through my veins These days I’m always in pain I’ll just sit on my couch till my life runs out And there’s no one left to blame All of my bones are made of glass When will this pain in my chest pass? And there’s nothing you can do that’ll help me through So don’t live your life with regrets The agony and the apathy have been dragging me down I’ll just sit and I’ll mope and I’m all out of hope and I’ll die in this town There’s no relief for me, and there’s none for you Cause my darling I am crumbling All of my tears have now turned black And I forgot how to laugh My skin is so sensitive a smile hurts And a constant ache in my back All I need is one last hug, or just get me some drugs The pains unbearable, my time is up Why won’t you pull the plug? The agony and the apathy have been dragging me down I’ll just sit and I’ll mope and I’m all out of hope and I’ll die in this town There’s no relief for me, and there’s none for you Cause my darling--
5.
Ruins 00:34
Dark circles nurse my eyes as I drink myself to sleep Any night when I feel like I could die and it’s getting hard to breathe Now I’ll just lay here, mangled limbs and pale blue skin Goodbye my darling I guess I’ve worn myself too thin
6.
Roots 04:21
Any time I think I feel at home again I hit the ground running till I’m gone I’ve spent the past few months stuck in my own head Just cause I can’t connect with anyone My legs are restless, eyes are heavy Set me free From this feeling I have learned is discontent I’m out of gas, I’m out of cash but now I see I was never really broken I was bent I ask myself the same question most every day Why no one really makes much sense to me I guess that’s why I always wanna run away Smoke from bridges burned too thick to see My legs are restless, eyes are heavy Set me free From this feeling I have learned is discontent I’m out of gas, I’m out of cash but now I see I was never really broken (Never really broken) I was bent I find myself at peace being uprooted Can’t stay in the same place for very long I always feel alone even when in a crowd I’d rather just hang out with my dog My legs are restless, eyes are heavy Set me free From this feeling I have learned is discontent I’m out of gas, I’m out of cash but now I see I was never really broken My legs are restless, eyes are heavy Set me free (Set me free) From this feeling I have learned is discontent (Discontent) I’m out of gas, I’m out of cash but now I see (Now I see) I was never really broken (I was never really broken) I was never really broken I was bent
7.
When I opened my eyes this morning there was only one thing I could say It was dammit, I’m awake My bedroom walls were closing in and my chest was getting tight Tunnel visioned, there is no light Knocked out, face down, into the ground What’s wrong with me? Anxiety Breathe in, breathe out without a sound There’s no air for me Anxiety A hand full of pills for when I’m feeling alone I can’t call my friends to talk cause they’re not home I’ll just sit here and think of why I turned out this way Cause everyone’s skies are blue but mine are grey Knocked out, face down, into the ground What’s wrong with me? Anxiety Breathe in, breathe out without a sound There’s no air for me Anxiety Knocked out, face down, into the ground What’s wrong with me? Anxiety Breathe in, breathe out without a sound There’s no air for me Anxiety What’s wrong with me? Anxiety
8.
I am out of touch I’ve been gated off And I’m not sure which ways out I can’t communicate, and my tempers short I’m always upset for no reason You’ve been pushed away by my tendencies Psychopathic it may seem I’ve tried so hard but not gotten too far I’ll be better in my dreams I’ve told you time and time again that this is how I am I’m sick of always being afraid that you won’t stick around Sometimes life gets tough but for you I’m way too much My psychie’s been exhausted and I’ve used you as my crutch Just leave me be, I feel so incomplete Just leave me be, what’s so hard to see? Put me to sleep Maybe then I’ll regain function Put me to sleep Maybe then we’ll keep on lovin’ Put me to sleep I haven’t closed my eyes in weeks Put me to sleep Put me to sleep, put me to sleep, put me to sleep You’ve been labeled emotional punching bag and that’s not what I want I’ve been cursed with a crazy brain and it’s not something I flaunt I want to treat you like gold but I’m just too insane This mindset has been holding me back I’m tired of these games Just leave me be, I feel so incomplete Just leave me be, what’s so hard to see? Put me to sleep Maybe then I’ll regain function Put me to sleep Maybe then we’ll keep on lovin’ Put me to sleep I haven’t closed my eyes in weeks Put me to sleep Put me to sleep, put me to sleep, put me to sleep Just leave me be, I feel so incomplete Just leave me be, what’s so hard to see? Put me to sleep Maybe then I’ll regain function Put me to sleep Maybe then we’ll keep on lovin’ Put me to sleep I haven’t closed my eyes in weeks Put me to sleep Put me to sleep, put me to sleep, put me to sleep Put me to sleep Maybe then I’ll regain function Put me to sleep Maybe then we’ll keep on lovin’ Put me to sleep I haven’t closed my eyes in weeks Put me to sleep Put me to sleep, put me to sleep, put me to sleep
9.
Nausea 03:17
Sick to my stomach and I wanna go home, someone get me out of here A burning sensation is in my chest and conversation is my biggest fear Detached, in pain, and insane, please don’t talk to me I’m at the lowest point of my whole life and I don’t know who I wanna be Nausea, cold sweats, it happens daily Bones ache, heartbreak, what’s become of me? Rip my organs from my body The world will finally dispose of me I’ve heard stories of other folks losing their sense of self I thought that I was oh so strong until down, down, down I fell Coughing up thick crimson blood, my lungs have been charred to black I wonder every day when will my time come whether by car crash or heart attack Nausea, cold sweats, it happens daily Bones ache, heartbreak, what’s become of me? Rip my organs from my body The world will finally dispose of me I feel so sick every day, it’s my own personal hell I never thought this would happen to me, now that I’m constantly unwell I feel like I wanna give up, and I always have to throw up I wonder if there’s some kind of remedy that’ll help me feel more like me My hands shake like earthquakes, so stop telling me to get a grip My hands shake like earthquakes, so stop telling me to get a grip
10.
Bad Seed 02:34
I’ve been awake all damn night long Just trying to write some stupid punk songs Drink after drink until I feel safe And forget about everything including your face I’m feeling low And I wish that I could go Back in time and fix my shit cause now I’m just a bad seed The sun is rising to greet a new day As I’m wondering what it’s like to really feel okay My friends will worry but I’ll tell them I’m fine As I keep on fighting this war of mine I’m feeling low And I wish that I could go Back in time and fix my shit cause now I’m just a bad seed My head is always stuck in the clouds And when I talk to anyone my voice is too loud I’ve become antisocial and I feel like a freak Cause nobody can handle me for more than a week I’m feeling low And I wish that I could go Back in time and fix my shit cause now I’m just Now I’m just Now I’m just A bad seed

credits

released November 8, 2019

Written & performed by Grumpster
Recorded, mixed, & mastered by Ryan Perras at District Recording
Art by KC Roberge

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Grumpster Oakland, California

Falyn Walsh

Lalo Gonzalez Deetz

Noel Agtane

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